Vicky Pollard
Vicky is a moody, obnoxious teenage girl seemingly incapable of doing much but gossip in a strong Bristol accent. She is a representation of teenage delinquents and chavs. When questioned about some aspect of her behaviour, Vicky will usually reply defensively with one of her several catchphrases, including "Yeah but no but yeah but no but...", "What-eva!", "Oh my god! I soooo can't believe you just said that!", "Shut up! I ain't even dun nuffin' or nuffin'!" and "Don't go giving me evils!" She will defend herself by going off on a long rant in which she relates gossip about people who have nothing to do with the predicament she is in, although she claims to be "getting there." She also speaks unusually quickly, which, together with the gossip she comes up with, will confuse and often annoy the person she is confronted by. Appearance Vicky is often seen as the ultimate television chav, although she was created before the term came into popular usage. She is usually dressed in a pink Kappa tracksuit with her hair pulled up into a "Croydon Facelift". She seems unaware of how grotesque her appearance is, sometimes describing herself as "fit", meaning attractive. She is a smoker and in one episode smokes in a swimming pool. Personal history Vicky was born in 1989 in Bristol, or "Brissle" as it is locally known. Most of her sketches are set in the fictional locality of Darkley Noone. In a series three episode she pronounced herself as "Well the fittest girl in Tunbridge Wells". The Little Britain Live programme reveals that she left school at 11 with six ASBOs to her name. As of series three she has had at least 12 children, some of whom appear dressed identically to her. In series one she revealed that she had exchanged one of her children for a Westlife CD, which she revealed that she regretted when the social worker expressed concern, saying "I know, they're rubbish". She also has a sister called Katie Pollard (played by Kate Moss) and a mother called Shelley Pollard (played by Dawn French). The official series two tie-in script book featured a Jobseeker's Allowance benefit claim form partially filled in by Vicky, listing her previous occupations as a "retale sistant" (Retail Assistant), chicken slaughterer (at which she lasted less than two hours) and erotic dancer at Spearmint Rhino. Her television credits include "roles" in Crimewatch (on which she appeared 27 times), South West Today in a segment on happy slapping, and on various closed-circuit television cameras. She also once slapped Jessica from Liberty X for "giving her evils". Despite the fact that Vicky often seems to get into trouble at the end of her sketches, including appearances in court and arrests for shoplifting, she always seems to have avoided any serious penalties by her next appearance, although she did have a spell in borstal . Role in series Vicky has appeared in all but one Little Britain episode to date (including the pilot and the Comic Relief special). She did not appear in episode four of series three. Vicky has a counterpart played by David Walliams, called Jackie Hayes, whom Vicky encountered at borstal in an incident where she supposedly bit her. Jackie looks and talks exactly like Vicky does, except she wears blue instead of pink. When the governess at Borstal questions both girls about the biting incident, they get into a heated argument trying simultaneously to explain their side of the story by relating gossip about completely unrelated events. The governess, fed up with the pair of them, tells both girls to "piss off". Unlike the other characters, Vicky had a fairly uneventful role in the last episode of the third series. A sketch simply showed her going to a newsagent and trying to claim money with a fake lottery ticket. She appeared in the Christmas Special "Little Britain Abroad", in which she was imprisoned in a Thai prison for smuggling heroin. Dawn French guest-starred as Vicky's mother, Shelley Pollard, who shared her daughter's inarticulate speech patterns. Vicky was sentenced to 10 years in jail (Shelley received 20 for being annoying to the judge), which, for once, left her at a loss for words. She also appears in Little Britain USA where she is sent to boot camp after burning down Disneyland. She interrupts the Coach during Roll Call to spread more gossip. The Coach, however, deals with Vicky somewhat differently than her British counterparts - she patiently waits for Vicky to finish before claiming not to have a clue what she has just said or telling her off. Vicky does very naughty things at the camp, such as smoking in the bathroom where she mentions someone drawing on the wall of a big fat woman with a penis and writing the Coach's name on it, then her hair catches fire, much to the shock of the coach. Next she attempted to escape, only to be caught on barb-wire and hangs upside-down. Her sentence is extended by six months, which she doesn't care about until being informed her sentence ended the next day. The last sketch she goes to hospital and loses her voice after jumping off the chapel roof, so she is given a computer to talk. The coach is shown in this sketch to be very caring towards her. Trivia Vicky's full name is alternately given as Victoria Titania Pollard in the series two script book and Victoria Henrietta Pollard in the series three script book. The character was originally going to be called Vicky Collier and the reason for the change has not been revealed, although a series one episode showed her encounter with a teacher called Mr Collier, who reprimanded her for failure to hand in an essay on time. Mr Collier was played by David Walliams. Vicky Pollard is actually an incarnation of a 12-year-old schoolboy that Matt Lucas encountered in a shopping mall as part of a college documentary project in 1993. Lucas asked the boy “How are you?”, to which he replied “Yeah, no, yeah, dunno!”. The mumbling diatribe tickled Lucas so much that he used it as a template to create the inarticulate Vicky Pollard. Vicky's various odd jobs Chav, Mother, Student, Shoplifter, Whore, Prostitute, Fat Piece of Slab Catchphrases * "...or summin' or nuffin'." * "Oh my God, I so cannot believe you just said that!!" * "Shut up!" * "Yeah, but, no, but, yeah, but, no, but..." (sometimes said fast) * "...cos what 'appened was..." * "Don't give me evils!" * "You well gonna get beatin's" Category:Characters